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My dad is making my life miserable [19M]
I’m new to Reddit and this community so i don’t know if this is the sort of post you all want to see but oh well. This is going to be a very long post so apologies. So a bit of context.. my mum and dad divorced when I was about a year old and I lived with my mum and her boyfriend and then went to my dads every other weekend, sometimes every weekend. I had quite a tough childhood as my mums boyfriend/essentially my stepdad, basically used to bully me. Was rarely physical but emotionally damaging for me. For example I’d get sent to bed at 5 o clock as a “punishment” for doing nothing wrong, if I came back from my dads I wouldn’t be allowed to speak to my mum and would have to go straight to bed, had my school stuff thrown into the garden and left there overnight. He used to take advantage of my mum being out the house and bully me until I had to ring my dad in tears. I had a younger brother and younger sister and was treated very differently to them as they were his kids, which I believe is this reason he took a disliking towards me. Lots of different things. Either way it was a miserable experience for me and still affects me to this day. When I was 12 my mum was diagnosed with cancer which was terminal however I was never told it was terminal and was always lead to believe that she would survive it. As I was quite young I was naive and wasn’t really sure how cancer worked etc. About a year later when I was 13 she passed away, which was a huge shock to me as I was never told how bad it was whilst everyone else was able to prepare for it. I had to stay with my stepdad for the remainder of my school year which was awful as the bullying obviously got worse now my mum wasn’t around anymore. But once I finished my school year I went to live with my dad and had to move schools as he lived in another city about an hour away. As I hated my life at home when I was living with my stepdad, I thought this would be a fresh start and I could start to enjoy my life, however, I was wrong. I settled into my new school very quickly, made a few friends but never really felt like I fitted in. They would all go out after school but I couldn’t because my dad was weird about it. This is the first sign that things were going to be tough with him but at the time I didn’t think anything of it. For the first 3 years of school I didn’t see my friends once out of school. I wasn’t allowed to play online with them on my PlayStation as my dad wouldn’t let me. It was at the end of my last school year when I was 16 when I decided I’ve had enough and told my dad I’m going out with my friends whether he liked it or not. He agreed to let me but I had to be back at 6:45 every time I went out (weird I know). He said this was because he cooked dinner at this time and I always had to eat with him. Whenever I came back from seeing my friends I would get interviewed my dad about it, asking me question after question about where I was, who I was with, what I was doing even though I had already told him this before I left. If he didn’t question me I’d get probing questions such as “were you really doing that for that long?” In a suspicious voice. This still happens to this day and i am now 19. He controls every aspect of my life. I have to do everything with him, I can’t leave my house to go and see friends before about 2 o clock because I was made to eat lunch with him before I could go out. If I wanted to go out after school or college he would often say “only if you walk the dogs first” even though he has been at home doing nothing all day because that’s what he does, he doesn’t work and spends 90% of his life watching tv. Everything was on his terms and I didn’t have a say in anything I did. He decided for me that I’m going to college after I’d finished school and I didn’t even get a say in that. I didn’t want to do that because none of my friends went there and I preferred to do an apprenticeship. But no, it was his way or no way. I was being treated like a little kid and still am to this day. I’m 19 now and I still have to be in at 6:45 as we apparently have to eat together although I’m convinced it’s just an excuse for him controlling me and stopping me staying out late. I got a girlfriend when I was 17, she’s been my girlfriend for over a year and he doesn’t know about her because of how controlling and weird he is especially about that sort of thing. I had a girlfriend before that briefly and I only told him about her because I had to travel far to see her. And he was very weird about it and almost had a go at me for getting a girlfriend. “Where did you meet her?” In an angry voice. “I want you to focus on college”. Constantly being judgemental about it and made me feel guilty about it. This put me off even wanting a girlfriend for a while until I met my current girlfriend who he still doesn’t know about because of his reaction last time. It bothers her a lot and I know you’ll all be thinking I’m a horrible person for that and tbh I agree because she doesn’t deserve that, but I just can’t bring myself to say it. It sounds pathetic but the fact that I know he’ll react badly combined with my really bad anxiety that I’ve developed over the last few years (mainly due to him), I can’t bring myself to do it. I keep my entire life away from home private from him. If I buy new clothes I don’t tell him because he’s had a go at me for that in the past and made me feel guilty about that before because apparently he should be doing that. And then I get called “sneaky” and made to feel like I’m the weird one when I literally can’t even buy myself some new clothes without telling him exactly what I’m going to buy or he’ll get angry at me. If I go out with a bag I’ll get questioned on what’s in the bag as if I’m some sort of drug dealer, to the point where he was stood shouting at me saying “what’s in the bag” over and over again. To the point where I have to leave my bag outside and get it when he goes upstairs etc just to avoid being questioned. Again this still happens now. He even once quizzed me about why I’d took my bag to work which we literally have to do in case there’s things we have to take home. If I go out with friends or with my girlfriend (he thinks I’m meeting friends as obviously he doesn’t know about her) and I go somewhere different to where I usually go I’ll get a huge lecture about him having to know “exactly where I am at all times”. I thought all of this would stop when I reached 18 as that is when I became an adult but if anything it got worse. Until recently I would come home from school or college and find the entire contents of my bedroom scattered across my floor with him shouting at me saying my bedroom is “an absolute mess” even though it rarely ever was. This would happen at least once a week and has only stopped recently because we are in lockdown due to covid. I got a part time job last year at a bookmakers as his friend is the manager there and basically got me the job. However all he has done since I got it is make digs at me about it, saying “you don’t want to work there all your life” and constantly criticise it even though it was him who pushed me to get the job. I have a season ticket at the football (soccer for any Americans here, I’m English) and if I had to miss the odd game because of work which I could do nothing about, he’d go absolutely crazy at me saying he’ll cancel my season ticket, make nasty comments about my job etc. For my birthday we would go and choose shoes for example, and if I liked a pair he would look disgusted and say “are you sure..?” And then would pick some other ones out and say “these are nice you’re having these” and not even give me a choice. So I’ve realised he’s very controlling; I think he hates the fact I’m growing up and that’s why he tries to control me. But that’s not all. He’s also got more and more toxic towards me as I’ve grown up. I do a lot of chores around the house, more than anyone I know. Which on its own is understandable as it’s just me and him, he doesn’t have a wife or partner. So if I’m asked to do things I will always do them without any complaints. However I’ve spoke to my friends and girlfriend about it and they all can’t believe how much he makes me do. All of the horrible jobs such as clearing dog poo out of the garden are assigned to me as he does all the nicer ones. I do that, I mow the grass at the front and back every single time, he never does it. I clean the bathroom all the time, I vacuum, I offer to help cook every single night, I clean the kitchen after he’s cooked and more. This might not seem like a lot but when I have had a 11 hour shift for example at work I will come home and he’ll make me do something that he would usually do just because he can’t be bothered such as take the dogs a walk. Which I really don’t want to do after a long shift. I wouldn’t mind if he’d been busy but he’ll have done absolutely nothing all day. It gets to the point where he’s using me to do jobs whilst he does very little. And the worst part is that he’s started these random outbursts on me for no reason. He’ll have nothing to be angry with me about so he’ll just use a standard line.. “YOU DO NOTHING AROUND THE HOUSE. I DO EVERYTHING” which actually just blows my mind because I do way more than he does. And I will tell him that I do loads around the house and he’ll go “but you could have just done .......” and pick something random as if I’m supposed to have read his mind and known he wanted me to do it. I’ll say why didn’t you tell me to do it then and he’ll shout “I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO ASK”. This argument has started to happen about once week. I have suffered from depression over the last year or two, especially a few months ago when we first got quarantined and weren’t allowed out the house. And I genuinely believe this is largely down to him and how he treats me. There was one day in particular that I remember where he was having a go at me about everything for no reason when I already felt depressed, to the point where I had a massive breakdown in front of him. I thought this may change how he acts with me but a few weeks later and he goes back to his normal self. I can’t even get changed in the morning without him smashing the dishes around and shouting at me for doing “nothing around the house” just because he’s decided to do the dishes when he knows I haven’t even been downstairs yet. I think he does it deliberately to give him a reason to shout at me. Although I do feel depressed sometimes, it comes and goes, I’ll feel very depressed for a few weeks and then feel okay for a few weeks, it’s my anxiety that remains really bad. I was always a shy person but not anxious to this extent. When I wake up I feel anxious to even go downstairs in case he starts on me. If I come home from being out I will feel anxious as soon as I leave to come home. I find myself literally shaking because of my anxiety around him. He makes me feel so uneasy. I can’t have a normal conversation with him about anything, can’t have a joke with him in case he reacts badly. He’s in what seems like a constant bad mood with me, every conversation we have has to be formal. I’m not allowed to swear or even say words such as “crap”, whilst he swears a lot. The only time I don’t feel anxious is when I’m with my girlfriend or my friends and even then I worry that he’ll call me and ask what I’m doing. I even can’t wait to go to work some days even though it is really boring, because I want to get out of the house to relieve my anxiety. Now we’re in lockdown it’s even worse as I can only leave the house once to go for a walk, and I can only be out about an hour or he’ll start questioning me and saying I’m being sneaky. He doesn’t respect my privacy at all, I don’t feel like I have any time to myself and it’s really starting to impact on my mental health. I can’t play on my PlayStation with my friends until he’s gone to sleep because he shouts me to go downstairs every 10 minutes to “help” with something and then I won’t even have to do anything and will just stand there. Or I’ll have to go and look at a new car he wants even though he knows I’m not interested. He doesn’t give me any time to myself at all and at 19 that really pisses me off. He treats me like a kid and I’ve been an adult for over a year. I constantly feel like I’m treading on eggshells around him, he’s so passive aggressive and childish it’s actually embarrassing. I find him pathetic if I’m being honest. He’s also very narcissistic I’ve noticed. He has to have “the best” everything. Even if he’s struggling for money he’ll choose to buy a new car rather than focus on saving money. I have had barely any money spent on me since I’ve lived with him at all, yet he’s spend thousands and thousands on himself. Now I’m earning money he regularly asks to borrow money of up to £5000 so that he can pay his credit cards off because he’s got himself into a mess financially because he spends so much money on silly things such as a £700 coffee machine. Lol. Oh yeah, and probably the worst thing of all, his dad left me £20,000 for me when he died in his will, for my dad to give me to me for him when I turned 18, for a new car or University fees etc. However, my dad spent every single penny of it on new cars and things for him and acts like it’s not a big deal, and always says “you’ll get it eventually” even though I know I’ll never see it. Which I believe I could take him to court over but I never would unless our relationship broke down massively or I needed the money. Sorry for the really long post, if anyone has actually made it this far then I appreciate it a lot. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve even considered therapy due to my mental health. I don’t feel like I can speak to him properly about anything, he’s never acted like a father to me but more of a stranger who just happens to live with me. So it’s not like I can just talk to him about this because I really don’t feel like I can. I’ve never had a personal conversation with him in my life. I bottle up all of my feelings and the only person I can speak to on that level is my girlfriend. I really don’t know what to do because I am sick of living here and would move out if I had enough money. I don’t have a family at all really so staying with them wouldn’t be an option. I really just feel like I need some proper advice on what to do because my mental health is suffering a lot because of him. Thanks for taking the time to read this, would appreciate constructive and helpful feedback rather than judgemental feedback👍
I’m new to Reddit and this community so i don’t know if this is the sort of post you all want to see but oh well. This is going to be a very long post so apologies. So a bit of context.. my mum and dad divorced when I was about a year old and I lived with my mum and her boyfriend and then went to my dads every other weekend, sometimes every weekend. I had quite a tough childhood as my mums boyfriend/essentially my stepdad, basically used to bully me. Was rarely physical but emotionally damaging for me. For example I’d get sent to bed at 5 o clock as a “punishment” for doing nothing wrong, if I came back from my dads I wouldn’t be allowed to speak to my mum and would have to go straight to bed, had my school stuff thrown into the garden and left there overnight. He used to take advantage of my mum being out the house and bully me until I had to ring my dad in tears. I had a younger brother and younger sister and was treated very differently to them as they were his kids, which I believe is this reason he took a disliking towards me. Lots of different things. Either way it was a miserable experience for me and still affects me to this day. When I was 12 my mum was diagnosed with cancer which was terminal however I was never told it was terminal and was always lead to believe that she would survive it. As I was quite young I was naive and wasn’t really sure how cancer worked etc. About a year later when I was 13 she passed away, which was a huge shock to me as I was never told how bad it was whilst everyone else was able to prepare for it. I had to stay with my stepdad for the remainder of my school year which was awful as the bullying obviously got worse now my mum wasn’t around anymore. But once I finished my school year I went to live with my dad and had to move schools as he lived in another city about an hour away. As I hated my life at home when I was living with my stepdad, I thought this would be a fresh start and I could start to enjoy my life, however, I was wrong. I settled into my new school very quickly, made a few friends but never really felt like I fitted in. They would all go out after school but I couldn’t because my dad was weird about it. This is the first sign that things were going to be tough with him but at the time I didn’t think anything of it. For the first 3 years of school I didn’t see my friends once out of school. I wasn’t allowed to play online with them on my PlayStation as my dad wouldn’t let me. It was at the end of my last school year when I was 16 when I decided I’ve had enough and told my dad I’m going out with my friends whether he liked it or not. He agreed to let me but I had to be back at 6:45 every time I went out (weird I know). He said this was because he cooked dinner at this time and I always had to eat with him. Whenever I came back from seeing my friends I would get interviewed my dad about it, asking me question after question about where I was, who I was with, what I was doing even though I had already told him this before I left. If he didn’t question me I’d get probing questions such as “were you really doing that for that long?” In a suspicious voice. This still happens to this day and i am now 19. He controls every aspect of my life. I have to do everything with him, I can’t leave my house to go and see friends before about 2 o clock because I was made to eat lunch with him before I could go out. If I wanted to go out after school or college he would often say “only if you walk the dogs first” even though he has been at home doing nothing all day because that’s what he does, he doesn’t work and spends 90% of his life watching tv. Everything was on his terms and I didn’t have a say in anything I did. He decided for me that I’m going to college after I’d finished school and I didn’t even get a say in that. I didn’t want to do that because none of my friends went there and I preferred to do an apprenticeship. But no, it was his way or no way. I was being treated like a little kid and still am to this day. I’m 19 now and I still have to be in at 6:45 as we apparently have to eat together although I’m convinced it’s just an excuse for him controlling me and stopping me staying out late. I got a girlfriend when I was 17, she’s been my girlfriend for over a year and he doesn’t know about her because of how controlling and weird he is especially about that sort of thing. I had a girlfriend before that briefly and I only told him about her because I had to travel far to see her. And he was very weird about it and almost had a go at me for getting a girlfriend. “Where did you meet her?” In an angry voice. “I want you to focus on college”. Constantly being judgemental about it and made me feel guilty about it. This put me off even wanting a girlfriend for a while until I met my current girlfriend who he still doesn’t know about because of his reaction last time. It bothers her a lot and I know you’ll all be thinking I’m a horrible person for that and tbh I agree because she doesn’t deserve that, but I just can’t bring myself to say it. It sounds pathetic but the fact that I know he’ll react badly combined with my really bad anxiety that I’ve developed over the last few years (mainly due to him), I can’t bring myself to do it. I keep my entire life away from home private from him. If I buy new clothes I don’t tell him because he’s had a go at me for that in the past and made me feel guilty about that before because apparently he should be doing that. And then I get called “sneaky” and made to feel like I’m the weird one when I literally can’t even buy myself some new clothes without telling him exactly what I’m going to buy or he’ll get angry at me. If I go out with a bag I’ll get questioned on what’s in the bag as if I’m some sort of drug dealer, to the point where he was stood shouting at me saying “what’s in the bag” over and over again. To the point where I have to leave my bag outside and get it when he goes upstairs etc just to avoid being questioned. Again this still happens now. He even once quizzed me about why I’d took my bag to work which we literally have to do in case there’s things we have to take home. If I go out with friends or with my girlfriend (he thinks I’m meeting friends as obviously he doesn’t know about her) and I go somewhere different to where I usually go I’ll get a huge lecture about him having to know “exactly where I am at all times”. I thought all of this would stop when I reached 18 as that is when I became an adult but if anything it got worse. Until recently I would come home from school or college and find the entire contents of my bedroom scattered across my floor with him shouting at me saying my bedroom is “an absolute mess” even though it rarely ever was. This would happen at least once a week and has only stopped recently because we are in lockdown due to covid. I got a part time job last year at a bookmakers as his friend is the manager there and basically got me the job. However all he has done since I got it is make digs at me about it, saying “you don’t want to work there all your life” and constantly criticise it even though it was him who pushed me to get the job. I have a season ticket at the football (soccer for any Americans here, I’m English) and if I had to miss the odd game because of work which I could do nothing about, he’d go absolutely crazy at me saying he’ll cancel my season ticket, make nasty comments about my job etc. For my birthday we would go and choose shoes for example, and if I liked a pair he would look disgusted and say “are you sure..?” And then would pick some other ones out and say “these are nice you’re having these” and not even give me a choice. So I’ve realised he’s very controlling; I think he hates the fact I’m growing up and that’s why he tries to control me. But that’s not all. He’s also got more and more toxic towards me as I’ve grown up. I do a lot of chores around the house, more than anyone I know. Which on its own is understandable as it’s just me and him, he doesn’t have a wife or partner. So if I’m asked to do things I will always do them without any complaints. However I’ve spoke to my friends and girlfriend about it and they all can’t believe how much he makes me do. All of the horrible jobs such as clearing dog poo out of the garden are assigned to me as he does all the nicer ones. I do that, I mow the grass at the front and back every single time, he never does it. I clean the bathroom all the time, I vacuum, I offer to help cook every single night, I clean the kitchen after he’s cooked and more. This might not seem like a lot but when I have had a 11 hour shift for example at work I will come home and he’ll make me do something that he would usually do just because he can’t be bothered such as take the dogs a walk. Which I really don’t want to do after a long shift. I wouldn’t mind if he’d been busy but he’ll have done absolutely nothing all day. It gets to the point where he’s using me to do jobs whilst he does very little. And the worst part is that he’s started these random outbursts on me for no reason. He’ll have nothing to be angry with me about so he’ll just use a standard line.. “YOU DO NOTHING AROUND THE HOUSE. I DO EVERYTHING” which actually just blows my mind because I do way more than he does. And I will tell him that I do loads around the house and he’ll go “but you could have just done .......” and pick something random as if I’m supposed to have read his mind and known he wanted me to do it. I’ll say why didn’t you tell me to do it then and he’ll shout “I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO ASK”. This argument has started to happen about once week. I have suffered from depression over the last year or two, especially a few months ago when we first got quarantined and weren’t allowed out the house. And I genuinely believe this is largely down to him and how he treats me. There was one day in particular that I remember where he was having a go at me about everything for no reason when I already felt depressed, to the point where I had a massive breakdown in front of him. I thought this may change how he acts with me but a few weeks later and he goes back to his normal self. I can’t even get changed in the morning without him smashing the dishes around and shouting at me for doing “nothing around the house” just because he’s decided to do the dishes when he knows I haven’t even been downstairs yet. I think he does it deliberately to give him a reason to shout at me. Although I do feel depressed sometimes, it comes and goes, I’ll feel very depressed for a few weeks and then feel okay for a few weeks, it’s my anxiety that remains really bad. I was always a shy person but not anxious to this extent. When I wake up I feel anxious to even go downstairs in case he starts on me. If I come home from being out I will feel anxious as soon as I leave to come home. I find myself literally shaking because of my anxiety around him. He makes me feel so uneasy. I can’t have a normal conversation with him about anything, can’t have a joke with him in case he reacts badly. He’s in what seems like a constant bad mood with me, every conversation we have has to be formal. I’m not allowed to swear or even say words such as “crap”, whilst he swears a lot. The only time I don’t feel anxious is when I’m with my girlfriend or my friends and even then I worry that he’ll call me and ask what I’m doing. I even can’t wait to go to work some days even though it is really boring, because I want to get out of the house to relieve my anxiety. Now we’re in lockdown it’s even worse as I can only leave the house once to go for a walk, and I can only be out about an hour or he’ll start questioning me and saying I’m being sneaky. He doesn’t respect my privacy at all, I don’t feel like I have any time to myself and it’s really starting to impact on my mental health. I can’t play on my PlayStation with my friends until he’s gone to sleep because he shouts me to go downstairs every 10 minutes to “help” with something and then I won’t even have to do anything and will just stand there. Or I’ll have to go and look at a new car he wants even though he knows I’m not interested. He doesn’t give me any time to myself at all and at 19 that really pisses me off. He treats me like a kid and I’ve been an adult for over a year. He’s also very narcissistic I’ve noticed. He has to have “the best” everything. Even if he’s struggling for money he’ll choose to buy a new car rather than focus on saving money. I have had barely any money spent on me since I’ve lived with him at all, yet he’s spend thousands and thousands on himself. Now I’m earning money he regularly asks to borrow money of up to £5000 so that he can pay his credit cards off because he’s got himself into a mess financially because he spends so much money on silly things such as a £700 coffee machine. Lol. Oh yeah, and probably the worst thing of all, his dad left me £20,000 for me when he died in his will, for my dad to give me to me for him when I turned 18, for a new car or University fees etc. However, my dad spent every single penny of it on new cars and things for him and acts like it’s not a big deal, and always says “you’ll get it eventually” even though I know I’ll never see it. Which I believe I could take him to court over but I never would unless our relationship broke down massively or I needed the money. Sorry for the really long post, if anyone has actually made it this far then I appreciate it a lot. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve even considered therapy due to my mental health. I don’t feel like I can speak to him properly about anything, he’s never acted like a father to me but more of a stranger who just happens to live with me. So it’s not like I can just talk to him about this because I really don’t feel like I can. I’ve never had a personal conversation with him in my life. I bottle up all of my feelings and the only person I can speak to on that level is my girlfriend. I really don’t know what to do because I am sick of living here and would move out if I had enough money. I don’t have a family at all really so staying with them wouldn’t be an option. I really just feel like I need some proper advice on what to do because my mental health is suffering a lot because of him. Thanks for taking the time to read this, would appreciate constructive and helpful feedback rather than judgemental feedback👍
guide to apprenticeships; Work. You could start in a betting shop as a cashier then take training on the job to become a supervisor or betting shop manager. Direct application. You could apply directly to bookmakers for a trainee manager post. To do this, you'll need GCSEs at grades 9 to 4 (A* to C), including English and maths. After peaking in the 1960s apprenticeships entered a slow decline, with half as many apprentices in employment in 1995 as there were in 1979. Reform – the introduction of Modern Apprentices: 1993–2004. A new apprenticeships scheme called “Modern Apprenticeships” was announced in 1993 and rolled out over the following two years. Time Bookmaker jobs. Sort by: relevance - date. Page 1 of 136 jobs. Displayed here are job ads that match your query. Indeed may be compensated by these employers, helping keep Indeed free for jobseekers. Indeed ranks Job Ads based on a combination of employer bids and relevance, such as your search terms and other activity on Indeed. Bookmaker Alternative titles for this job include Bookie, turf accountant, betting shop manager. ... guide to apprenticeships; Work. You could start in a betting shop as a cashier then take training on the job to become a supervisor or betting shop manager. Direct Application. Increasingly, betting takes place online. As an online bookmaker you would spend most of your time at a computer. You might work in a bookmaker’s shop (a licensed betting office), which might be independent or part of a large chain. Modern betting shops are usually bright and airy, with comfortable seating, snacks and refreshments. Want a career that's entertaining? Come and get involved with Entain. We have career opportunities and job vacancies all over the world. We’re the global players whose brands you’ll find in local communities, providing responsible sports betting and gaming that makes the world’s biggest live events even more memorable. The recent sale of Learndirect Apprenticeships Ltd is causing some of its large levy-paying customers to take their business elsewhere, FE Week has learned. William Hill, the world’s biggest bookmaker, has signalled its intention to look for alternative providers to train their apprentices. It is understood that the betting company may transfer its business to… Join us at William Hill in one of our many retail jobs or within one of our development cells, working in Technology. The careers in our shops offer great benefits and are UK-wide. You could also join us in a bookies job but within Technology across Leeds or London. The job of a bookmaker is to coordinate and manage the gambling activities of patrons. Most commonly working from a central betting office or sporting location (horse/dog racing track etc.), it is an occupation which tends to draw individuals who possess a personal interest in sports- and more-so in the act of betting. Bookmaker of the Year. 5 Consecutive Years. Best Mobile Sports Product. The innovation of our industry-leading products is consistently recognised and we frequently receive awards for our world-class sites and Sports app, which include a range of market-leading features to enhance the customer experience.
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